Nothing feels as bad as not really knowing that something is coming and then finally getting the answer that you didn’t want to hear but that you knew you would. I had that happen, and reading the words “I want to be friends, nothing more, nothing less” hit me like a ton of bricks. In his defense, I’m sure I deserved to hear them more than I thought I did… I did take things more seriously than I should have. So, in an attempt to finalize things and maybe get them back to the way they were I asked for one more meeting to get a few things back that I had given to him when all this started a couple years ago. Things didn’t go exactly how I planned it but in my life, nothing has ever gone the way I planned!!
Rob showed up at the hotel, he didn’t seem to be as happy to see me as I would have wanted but he was bringing me what I had asked him for and that supposed to be the only reason he came. I asked him to come in and he slowly walked through the door. The lights in the room weren’t on and the curtain in the window was only pulled half way open. He turned and handed me all of what I had asked for without saying a word. I took it, said thank you and put it down not taking my eyes off him. I had so many things I wanted to say but I knew I didn’t want to fight with him and I didn’t want him to walk away right then so I just asked how he was doing.
He smiled… it was that smile, the one that said everything should be ok and told me he was fine. The silence seemed to drag on and Rob was looking a bit uncomfortable as we stood there. There was a part of me that wanted to yell, scream and cry and ask why things turned out the way they did but I knew I shouldn’t say anything.
I broke the silence,
“I guess this is it then?”, “Yes” he said as he started heading toward the door.
I reached out and grabbed his arm and he turned and looked at me “Jennifer, I don’t want to do this, let me go.” “No!” The anger in my voice was startling to even me. I decided I wasn’t going to let him leave without some answers, I felt I deserved them. I knew this wasn’t going to go well but I had to know.
“What the hell happened to us?” I asked, tears beginning to fill my eyes.
“Jenn I told you, you took things too far, I wanted it but you were too much too quick. You caused me more problems and even when I asked you to back off, you didn’t.”
The room was spinning and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to continue with the conversation but I knew I needed to say some things.
“I loved you, I still love you and I think you need to know just how serious I was and still am about us.” Putting his hand up he tried to cut me off. “Rob please, just let me say this and then you are free to go and if it’s what you want, I won’t bother you again. I know I was pushy and overbearing and I know that I caused you a lot of unnecessary drama and I am sorry for that but in my defense, I never lied to you, I told you how I was feeling from the beginning and you didn’t. You said that you loved me, we sexted, met up and had some fun but the one thing you never did was actually let me know how you really felt about me.”
The tears were now streaming down my face and I could see the anger and frustration in his eyes. I knew I was pushing him and I knew he was getting ready to leave. I couldn’t think fast enough, Rob was going to leave and there was nothing I could do to stop him. He stared at me, his eyes burning with anger and hurt and I could see that he was over this conversation. Looking down he took a step forward and I stepped in front of him so he couldn’t get to the door. “Move please” he asked.
“Why, why can’t you just talk to me?”
“Get out of the way I told you I am not and I will NOT do this!”
I watched as Rob placed his head in his hand, took and deep breathe and looked at me again. He was angry, I knew he would be and right then I didn’t care as long as I could keep him with me.
“Jenn listen to me, I thought we could be together, I was wrong. Now, let me go before this gets worse!”
I put my hands on his chest and started to yell at him, my anger just overflowed and he was going to hear what I had to say.
“Dammit Rob, just tell me how you feel about me, don’t lie and don’t be nice just to spare my feelings! I want to know what’s really going on in your mind!”
He grabbed my wrists, stepped toward me and said “you really want to know, you think you can handle really knowing?”
“Yes!” I said and he shoved me back into the door. I could feel his breath on my face and before I knew it he was kissing me. His lips pressing into mine as his hands pulled mine behind my back. Our bodies were pressed together against the door with nowhere to go. He grabbed both of my hands in one of his and his other hand slid up my body and grabbed me around the neck as he continued to kiss me. I felt his tongue press into my lips and they parted to let him in. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to pull in him, to taste him and desire filled me. Finally he backed away just a little and asked me if I finally understood.
“No” I said breathlessly “You still didn’t tell me anything, but I don’t mind when you show me”. He began running his thumb up and down my cheek, brushing away the tears that had been falling. “Rob, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I want you, I want to be with you and this isn’t helping how I am feeling right now.”
“Jenn, just shut up! I can’t explain but I want to show you.”
He let go of my hands, placed his hands on the side of my face and pulled me into him. I could feel his breath, his cheek brushing against mine and across the end of my nose. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy being with him and then I had a startling revelation, this wasn’t going to last and I began to push him away. Trying to move he kept pulling me closer and I finally pushed hard enough to look at him.
“Rob why are you doing this me, don’t you understand what this is doing to me?”
Once again the tears began to fall and I couldn’t stop them, as much as tried to keep them from falling there was nothing I could do about it. I could see the frustration in his eyes as he looked down and then looked back at me.
“I’m tired of talking about this! Just stop talking or I’m leaving… and right now Jenn, I don’t want too!”
He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into the room backing me into the bed and shoving me down. I wasn’t sure what he was planning but I wasn’t about to say anything. Taking his shirt off he lay down on the bed next to me and pulled me over to him. As I opened my mouth to say something Rob leaned into me and kissed me hard, shoving his tongue in my mouth and sucking on my bottom lip. It was like nothing I had felt from him in a long time and I leaned into it giving him as much of me as he wanted. I could feel him pulling on my shirt until he had pulled it out of my pants and then his hands were touching my stomach. He was hot and his hands were scratchy, the way they are when you work a tough manual job. I pulled away from him so that he had access to get into my shirt with ease but he grabbed me again and pulled me close so that he could continue to kiss me. I felt his fingers brush against my nipple and I jumped from the static I could feel. I was getting a tingling sensation in my breasts and I wanted him to touch me, skin to skin. He must have understood the feelings I was having as he pulled on the top of my bra, yanking it down under my breast so that he could rub it and pinch and pull on my nipple. Our breathing became labored as the sexual tension was growing between us.
I pulled away from him and pushed him onto his back and sat on him, sliding my shirt slowly up my body and over my head. Taking his hands in mine I ran them up my body to my breasts now partially covered. Rob rubbed them one in and one out of the bra and moved them around and then moved his hands toward my back and unhooked my bra, slowly letting it slide off my shoulders and down my arms. He grabbed it and threw it onto the floor and leaned up into me, his face pressing into my chest. I could feel his breath as his hands pulled my breast up into mouth, his tongue flicking the nipple while his other hand rubbed and pulled on the other breast.
“Jesus Christ, I love your breasts! I have always loved them and always wanted them.” Rob said as he literally made love to my breasts. He was pinching, pulling, sucking and loving each breast equally as if he would never get a chance to do this again.
I slide my hands down his shoulders and across his chest. My fingers gently rubbing over his nipples and I moved down his body. Reaching down between my legs I found his cock through his pants and I could feel that he was beginning to get hard. I rubbed him through his pants, he closed his eyes and leaned back to give me better access as I rubbed up and down his ever hardening cock. He too began to run his hand down my body until he found my pussy through my pants that were now damp from the excitement I had already been experiencing. He pulled me off to the side of him and we lay on the bed facing each other, our hands exploring each other through our pants and we began to kiss and play. I felt his hand begin to pull at the button on my pants and then my zipper was being pulled down as well and I felt his hand slide into my pants. His fingers began to explore and move inside of my panties and I could feel him touching the skin above my pussy. I thrust my pelvis into his hand and felt his fingers begin to slide down through my soaking wet slit, willing his finger to touch me. Slowly he slid over my clit causing me to moan and pull on the button and zipper of his pants until they were open enough I could slide my hand inside and touch his cock. I wrapped my hand around him and began to rub up and down his cock, squeezing and pulling as he was beginning to rub my clit. We were moaning together, enjoying the sensation of feeling each other.
Desire was building strong and intense between us and we both knew that we wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. I pulled my hand from his pants and lay on my back pushing my pants down my legs and kicking them off onto the floor. Rob, seeing what I was doing did the same and then rolled over onto me and pinned my arms to bed. He leaned down and began to kiss my body, not allowing me to touch him. His leg draped across mine and I moved my leg to rub his cock as he kissed and sucked on my breasts slowly moving down my body, licking and biting as he traveled down my stomach toward my pussy, now aching for his touch.
“Rob, please touch me, I need to feel you on my pussy and deep inside me”
“Patience Jennifer, all in good time”
It was all I could do to hold on as he reached my pussy and his tongue slid out of mouth and began to move around my clit. I could feel his hand sliding off my arm and down my body to my pussy. I was shaved and I could feel everything with a heightened sensation as he licked my wet slit and with pressure slide his tongue up to my clit. My body jerked with pleasure and all I wanted was to feel him inside me. His finger began working its way into my pussy as he sucked and licked my clit. His tongue was being replaced with his thumb that was now dancing around on top my clit as he slid his finger deeper inside me. I wanted more of him as once again it was like he was reading my mind. He slid another and another finger inside me until he was feeling me from deep inside and my body began to tingle and I could feel myself getting ready to cum. My pussy was squeezing his fingers and I began to cum hard and fast. The flood of juices began to run out of me as his fingers kept moving deep inside me.
“Let it go Jennifer, this is what you want and I will give you more, just let it all go”
My cries were met with a release that I had not felt in a very long time. As I caught my breath as he pulled his fingers out of me and sat up and pushed him onto his back, looked into his eyes I said…
“Now it’s my turn”
Rob’s eyes sparkled with excitement from not knowing what was about to happen but I knew what I wanted and it was more than I was able to do any other time we had been together. It was painfully obvious that this would be the last time we would be together and I wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to show him just what he would be missing. I began to run my hands over his body, gently brushing his skin with my fingertips letting them slide over his stomach and chest up and down his body. I began to kiss and lick his chest, his nipples, down his stomach until I reached his ever growing cock. Wrapping my hand around him I pulled him into my mouth and began to suck his hardening cock. Rob leaned his head back and moaned as I sucked him, rolling my tongue across the slit and tasting the small amount of cum that had begun to seep from the head. He reached up and ran his hands up my arms, across my shoulders and then reached behind my head to pull me into him. This was not what I expected. Quickly I pulled off, grabbed his hands and held them down on the bed over his head.
“No touching! This is what I want, not what you want! IF you are going to say goodbye and leave me again with a broken heart, I get to say goodbye my way.”
Shock crossed his face but he allowed me to continue without touching me. I climbed on top on him slowly letting my body caress his and I slid up and down his body letting my breasts touch him every so lightly. This was my opportunity to do what I had been fantasizing about for years and I wasn’t letting it go. Feeling the warmth coming off his body helped to make what I was doing more exciting. His cock was hard and I could feel it as I slowly let my pussy, now wet and dripping, slide over him, not allowing him to enter me. Rob held his breath as I ran my hands over his body and my pussy over his cock. Pressing upward he tried to enter me but I moved so that he would only be able to feel as the head of his cock entered me. He moaned as the wetness and warmth began to wrap itself around him. Stopping him before he could get further into me I looked into his eyes…
“Rob, tell me what you want… tell me everything you want, how you feel, what you like, what you want to feel”
A smile crossed his lips
“You, right now I just want you! I want to feel you touching me, kissing me, licking me. I want to be inside you, deep inside you. I want you to make love to me, show me what you have always wanted to do to me and do with me.”
With that being said I slowly lowered myself onto his cock taking him into me little by little until I was full and feeling him deep within me. His cock slid into me easily from the juices that had been flowing from me. I began to move on top of him, letting his cock move around inside me as I squeezed him with my pussy that was already beginning to tingle and I knew it would not be long before I had another orgasm. For the first time in a long time I felt that I was connecting with the person that I had known and loved for years and the feeling was overwhelming and I began to move faster and faster sliding up and down his cock, taking as much of him as I could with each movement. I knew that I was close and I could see it in his face that he was just as close as I was and I let myself go as the orgasm swept over me and I exploded all over him, juices flowed freely from inside me and with a sharp intake of breath Rob let go and I could feel him exploding inside me.
“Yesssss!” I cried out
“Fuck!” Was all I heard from Rob
Quickly I climbed off him and slid between his legs sucking him into my mouth, tasting him and myself and sucked hard. Pulling him into my mouth and working his cock until I could feel it getting harder again. Rob reached out for me again and I quickly slapped his hands back. Once he was ready I slipped off him.
“Get up, I want you to make love to me, make me believe that you actually loved me once and then fuck me hard like we will never see each other again!”
Happily Rob complied with my wishes. He laid me down and climbed on top of me, rubbing down my body, kissing and licking me, tasting the sweat that was forming on my breasts and nipples. His cock slowly sliding in and out of my pussy and then he grabbed my hips and pulled me hard into him while he began to pound his cock in and out of my pussy, bring us both to orgasm together. Rob collapsed on top of me, both of us catching our breath.
“Jenn, I need to take a shower and get out of here. I’ve been here too long and I have to go.”
“Rob, will I see you again or at least will we still be able to talk? I don’t want to lose you again but I am prepared for you to walk away and not talk to me again.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen when I leave but what I do know is I am not ready to do this again. I still don’t know if I can trust you not to always be pushing me and I can’t handle it so please don’t make me.
Tears began forming in my eyes as he walked toward the shower. I got dressed and decided that I had finally gotten come closure even though it wasn’t really what I was expecting and I knew that it wasn’t ending the way I wanted it too but at least I was getting to say good-bye. Rob came out of the bathroom, got dressed, picked up his things and headed for the door with me following close behind. He turned, looked at me, smiled and said good-bye. I watched as he walked away hoping it was not forever but knowing it may be.